06 December 2006 - Boring

no money for this christmas, so sian. how i wish i can be earning much more than now and so i can afford more things for my dear to buy clothes, go holidays, etc. when will i not worry about money? when can i let my dear stop working? when can i afford to buy a car to bring my family around? when can i help my in-laws to be financially stable and my bro-in-law to further studies after his poly? how can i help my mother to be free from father?

all the above needs money so as to be accomplished. got a few concerned friends are helping me find a better job but what is a better job to me? should i follow my dreams and find an IT job or just work for money and forget about dreams? if i do not know what i want, how do i know what job to find? i am always so flicker-minded, i think i never going to achieve what i want. i been looking for a wide varieties of jobs, from returning back to my previous employer to a job onboard cruise for a few months. and even work as car agent or financial advisor. but all do not seems to be an ideal job for me, after all, IT is my favourite area.

haiz... feel so hopeless and helpless.